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Raven-Blood-13

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Right now I’m going to focus on finishing my current coms I have left and take a bit of a break.  I’ve been working on building up my commission/freelance portfolio and doing work for about ten years now without taking any real breaks and now that the flow of work is pretty consistent, I’m facing burnout. I tried to avoid this for the longest time, because it is my job and I treat it like a job, however in November I’m going to try getting a call center job and I want to dwindle down my stress related to coms.  I love art and have fun trying things, but right now with my depression and forcing myself to work, I’ve been more tired and burnt out than usual. 

So people that have asked about commissions as of late, I’ve seen your ask/notes/emails and I’m not ignoring you, I just needed to come up with this post. 

This was a decision I debated a lot, and I personally don’t know how long I’ll keep this break going, or if I’ll switch to a slot format. At this point I just realize I need to allow myself a full actual break for my own mental health. Anyone that has commissioned me knows I try to do things in a timely manner and update with progress shots, which is something right now I’ve been lagging with (in my mind) and I can’t relax truly right now. I feel a need to be constantly productive, but at points I just am too tired and the product takes longer to finish because of my own exhaustion. 

I’m hoping that if I get the job in november I can focus on getting myself back on track with my passions. And as of the break right now, it’s mainly a burnout on coms themselves. When I’m not working, I feel a constant stress, being unable to relax until I work, and then feeling as though I’m not working fast enough.  Personal art has come out in a trickle because I have trouble keeping motivation with my own things when I feel very honestly guilty when I spend time on my own work when there’s others I need to work on.

I don’t know if I will truly get myself out of that mentality of “i need money, i need to work so i’m worth being alive” But I want to at least try to get in a better state of mind right now. As I write this, I realize I’ll probably have slots open when I’m done with my current coms, to make the flow of work slower while still making some money. Because I am what my family falls back on when we need money for emergencies or bills. 

I also thank the people that are currently waiting on me to finish their pieces, they’ve been so sweet and I really appreciate your patience and understanding with everything that’s happened in the past few months. 

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My dog Sheba passed on today. I might be a bit quiet and take a bit longer with commissions and getting to messages. I’m not ignoring anyone.

The past few months have been very rough and I’m currently unable to get most of my medication as well. So I apologize for things taking longer than usual. Hopefully this will be the last big thing that happens for awhile.

I’m going to really miss my girl, but I’m glad she’s at peace now.

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I’ve talked about this a lot on twitter but not anywhere else and I really need to say it. I’m writing this late at night so it will probably be rambly. This is a long post, I’m sorry, but it’s honestly been a lot of shit.

I know I’ve been pretty quiet and not updating much other than finished commissions, and I greatly apologize for so many late replies and replies I still need to get to. I haven’t forgotten, I’ve just felt overwhelmed. 

Here I’ll be listing personal issues that have been mounting stress on my family and I for a few months now.  

My mother lost her job a few months ago, out of the blue and for no real reason. No real warnings, and no weeks notice, just, fired. Because oh so wonderful Florida is an At-Will state so they can fire without telling us a reason and at any time. My mother worked this job for 8 years, was good at it, was hoping for a promotion soon, and now it’s gone along with all benefits.

Everyone in my family suffers from mental illness including depression, anxiety and ptsd.  My mother also has a Thyroid issue that’s pretty bad.  She finally was able to seek treatment due to the job she had with it’s insurance. This has greatly helped her life, she’s felt so much better, and talking to someone about her issues was so important.  

Now we have run out of insurance, just my medication (two of the three i need) costs just under $200.  Our unemployment money is about to run out and even though my mother literally broke down crying from a panic attack in front of a doctor testing her for possible disability, we still didn’t get it.  Yeah we can reapply, but just getting this fiasco done so they could say no took like three months. We don’t have that kind of time now.  She’s not getting refills approved for some meds either, so she’s forced to borrow some of my depression medication

She’s currently trying to find a job, but the place she worked for before that said they had openings she could look into in other sectors of the job either wont call her back or seem to not believe her credentials. I told her she can borrow my money, but she doesn’t seem too into the idea, and even then, I don’t know how long that’d last. 
Why did she get fired you might wonder? Oh because another employee above her just didn’t like her. Of course they can try to come up with a different excuse, but we know. Because my mother was good at her job, very very good in fact. She climbed the ladder to a high position because she was good at helping the business. But Florida!  Florida means we can’t do jack about that!

On top of all this mess, my grandma is going in for surgery on the 26th for a double mastectomy. We recently found out she has very early stages of breast cancer and she opted to not have radiation and is instead getting both breasts removed.  Of course she’s scared, and we’re all worried.  She’s recently already had two surgeries, one was very major, so we’re all pretty stressed about this next one.  

Then there’s “little” things that have been happening.  Like our neighbor berating us about the dumbest things. Going so far as to yell at my grandma when she was working on painting the side of the house.  About our travel trailer being parked in a discreet area of our yard. (since before all this shit, we had plans to travel in it. Not like that will happen any time soon now.) 
Which they call the trailer an “eyesore” even though this is not a gated community or anything, they still called the cops on us about it, and then code enforcement. Which guess what! There was no problem. None!  But oh what fun is it hearing the cops and code enforcement knocking.  
Which this isn’t the first time either! Months ago they called the ASPCA on us because our dogs were -gasp- barking. And we in fact take great care in getting them inside when they start barking outside. And of course, again, there was nothing wrong and the ASPCA left. 


Overall I’m stressed in a way that’s hard to explain. I’m trying to keep calm, to do work, but I know it’s seeping into things and making it hard to do anything or really communicate.  

Writing this is honestly kinda hard because I really have to sit down and think about all of the awful possibilities if my mom doesn’t manage to land another job.  I have money to give her, but I don’t know how long it will last before it’s depleted due to the medication and housing expenses. My grandma works, but after this surgery she’s not going to be for awhile.  
Places here just. Don’t hire much, and the only job I know I can go back to easily is one i truly hate and was the worst time of  my life. Then there’s also the problem of caring, my mother and I both can’t really have a job we can’t control the hours with because my grandma will need to be watched over. She honestly can not be left alone after major surgery.

I want to hope for the best, but I can’t help but expect the worst.  Things were finally looking up for my family after so many years, we were finally getting help after so much horrible shit, and now everything’s just been turned upside down and shaken. 


I truly might have to look into a donation site at some point which I really am not looking forward to, but if someone knows of a good one, please do give me some names of a few.   

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I’m once again sorta at a low point, so time to open up some really cheap commissions!

Examples

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If you want to reserve a slot, either send me an note here or email me at ravenblood2113@gmail.com if you want to make sure I absolutely get your message.
Also note, I take payment through paypal and take payment up front, I will not start a piece until payment is received, this is just a safety precaution.

I can paint any sort of character, monsters, furries, robots, humans. Just please provide references!

I’m might open up more slots later, since busts are pretty fun for me. Also if I owe you a slot from a past sale, please tell me and I’ll give a slot to the side.

-Slots-

1.  TheFianna PAYED

2. Baracca

3. Aelix

4. Vera PAYED

5. Shayochism

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Featured

Commissions closed for now by Raven-Blood-13, journal

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$20 Painted bust commission sale! CLOSED by Raven-Blood-13, journal